Wherever I eat, I can usually get by with my phrase book. I’ll use it to either ask questions or decipher the menu. Well, by “usually,” I mean in Beijing.
Now in a much smaller city, where the number of tourists is extremely low (two English-speaking college students that I met on the train, laughed when I said I was coming just to visit), I’m finding that my phrase book isn’t as helpful and that I stick out severely. This was defined by my late lunch today. I ventured into a restaurant, that upon my passing I’d noticed had a picture menu. When I asked to see the menu and was told something I didn’t understand at all, I told the hostess I only spoke English. By the time I got to the last page of the menu, I had six staff members gathered around me pointing at the menu and telling me a million things (in Chinese). Taking a table, a new group of four staff members gathered round and listened while I tried to order a doufu (tofu) dish. After the waitress spent five minutes asking me questions by writing them on paper, she finally went to fetch someone else. The waitress she brought over spoke great English, and I easily ordered what I’d been eyeing. But it was too late; I was already the spectacle of the restaurant. The table next to me kept staring and talking about me through the entire rest of their meal. As they left, one of the two women kept watching me even as she walked through the door.
The whole incident brought me back to my first year in LA. Back then, some friends and I had celebrated someone’s birthday at the racetrack in Inglewood. After the races (and a free, nostalgic Spin Doctors concert), we decided to stop at a local Latino bar. When our car full of non-Latino teachers strode into the dark room, every person stopped what they were doing to stare at us. It was no exaggeration to say that the music skidded to a stop. There was literally a moment of dead air as we made our way to the bar and Shania Twain replaced the Spanish-language music that had played before our entrance. We were stepping onto their territory and were quite the spectacle, but they still tried to make us feel welcome. Soon a little Mexican dude approached our group and asked me to dance. I obliged, smiling. Dancing with him, I felt like I was in middle school again (we danced with his hands on my hips and mine on his shoulders, and he was a good three inches shorter than me), but it was still OK.
Later, the birthday boy, who knew I usually ignore guys who hit on me (or pretend I don’t speak English), said, “That was really cool of you to dance with him.” I told him, that it was kind of fun, but moreso, I felt a bit like I had to. We were the outsiders coming in, and I knew that the first interaction with someone from our group had to be good. I represented us all.
And that’s how I felt again today. Although a part of me wanted to stare down the other guests staring at me, I knew I shouldn’t. It’s obvious they don’t see Americans here often, and however I act will be a large part of their idea of who we are. So even though I’m treated like a freak with three heads, I have to smile and be courteous and let them stare. But at least I didn’t have to dance with anyone today.
How has traveling around the country been so far? Is it pretty easy to get around? And how are you connecting to the internet? Are there a lot of wireless cafes???
I remember that birthday boy! Pretty sure he was cute too!
I wonder how much you’ll get used to or get dragged down by the constant struggle to communicate. I imagine you’ll find good ways to go about it, and have days where you just want to curl up in a navy blue blanket. It got easier for me throughout Ghana, but it helped getting used to the culture to know what were effective and appropriate communication methods. For you changing cultures it will be harder, but I’m sure there are universal commonalities. I’m so jealous of you!
It’s been pretty easy so far…just using, trains, buses, and taxis to get between and around cities…will be flying domestically soon, though! But the Internet has been really easy to get to. I try to only get places with Internet in my room.
And ex-birthday boy (who actually has one coming up soon…), I’m sure I will have days where I just want to curl up and talk to nobody. Luckily, I can do that (but hopefully won’t have to!).
Jayna, i love reading your blog. I can’t wait to see what your experience is like in korea. It will be interesting to see it through someone else’s eyes…. and I know you will explain it a lot better than I ever could.
I’m so excited to see every thing’s been smooth for you so far! Really interesting to read about your take on “that” stare. Sometime try smiling and staring right back at women or directly giving them your best version of the Chinese hello. Love your blog!
Maybe if you would have danced with someone at the restaurant you could have gotten your tofu for free. It’s all about taking the lessons of the past and using them in the future. Obviously shaking your booty has served you well.