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Religious leaders sometimes say they had a “calling” in life that led them to ministering to others. Even though they tried to fight it, a voice was always telling them what to do. There were signs that couldn’t be ignored.

Although I’m not ministering to others, and my whole experience wasn’t really religious-related, I have to say that’s how I came to feel about this trip. The idea had begun nearly seven years prior, and there was a constant voice always telling me to do this. And despite a job, a relationship, or a fabulous apartment two blocks from the ocean, I couldn’t escape the feelings that I should be unemployed, single, and somewhat homeless for a year. I felt that I couldn’t NOT do it. And as the idea swelled in my head, signs (and friends) kept urging me to just do it. I began to doubt that I could ever feel fully happy in life if I didn’t take that year to see the world.

So I did it. And because of that constant voice, after I’d made the commitment, I never once doubted my decision. The voice stopped. There was no nagging feeling that I was supposed to be doing something else. I felt sure of my life for the first time in years.

Now that it’s over, though, I wonder what was the point of it all? I’m pretty scared that all I’ve got to show for it are a few new friends and some envy-inspiring photos.

I have to admit, though, that despite the fact that I’m still somewhat unemployed, single, and homeless, I feel pretty good about having taken this little vacation. I really think there was a reason for it. What? Well, now, that’s just not clear yet. But, really, is life ever?

Me…a year ago

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 8:19 pm and is filed under *China, back home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.